Find some peace amongst the madness and give your family the best Christmas yet.

Christmas is a magical time all round but no one appreciates the festivities more than young children. While it’s often what’s wrapped under the tree that really drives excitement, involving children in all types of activities over the holiday shows them it’s about more than just presents. Even better, it keeps them busy and allows you time to get on with the many tasks. Here, two parenting experts, Kirsty Ketley and Roma Norriss, share their top tips for managing this tricky balance.

Key to ensuring the children have a rewarding Christmas – and to maintaining your equilibrium – is letting go of perfectionism. For example, decorating the tree and the house ready for the festive period is a time-consuming task, so Ketley suggests being less precious about it and involving the whole family as much as possible. “Let the children decorate. They love it and it’s a lot less stressful when you let them take charge. It will create a meaningful memory too,” she says.

In a similar vein, once they are the right age, children can also play a part in food preparations. Kirsty recommends asking them to help out with small and easy tasks to ensure they feel important and involved in the Christmas effort. This also gives parents some time to get their own work done. “There are lots of things children can do in the kitchen, such as setting the table for dinner, peeling and chopping veg or making place names for everyone,” she says. This can make them feel even more a part of the celebrations, more grown-up and more confident about having fun as part of the family. They feel they’re a key part of making Christmas joyful.

Teach your children it’s just as much about giving as it is receiving by letting them buy gifts for other people. Ketley also recommends embracing charity by giving away gifts or donating to an organisation such as your local Samaritans charity shop. “It’s an important time to make sure children think of those less fortunate than themselves,” she says – they will feel a warmth from doing good, capturing the very essence of the spirit of Christmas.

Wrapping up and decorating these presents can also be an important task to do together. Giving children roles and responsibility also helps build their confidence. “On Christmas Day, give them the job of handing out presents from under the tree,” Ketley suggests. As any parent knows, children love handling presents, even the ones that aren’t for them.

During the Christmas period, children are naturally prone to feeling more overwhelmed and emotional than normal, with changes to their routine and excitement around the festivities. For parents this can be hard to manage and amid the chaos, sometimes it’s hard to keep calm.

Norriss emphasises how taking care of your own emotional state is key. “Most tangles with children happen when we are not in good shape ourselves. Book in self-care for you before anything else,” she says. A relaxing bath complemented by soothing candles or scent at the end of each day in the run-up to Christmas can help you relax and start the next day on the right foot.

A good way to get your children onside when you need their cooperation is by using a technique Roma calls “charging children’s connection battery”. For younger children, setting out a playmat can help make children feel they have a boundary, their own area, in which to play. “Offer short doses of your one-on-one, undivided, delighted, agenda-free attention. Let your child be in charge for 15 minutes. Play whatever they want to play with enthusiasm. Once you’ve done this you can expect them to settle down with a festive craft, or even help with chores while you do other things,” Norriss explains.

At this time of year, it can be easy to feel the weight of expectations and pressures as parents to deliver the ‘perfect’ Christmas for your children. However, it’s important to remember it’s how you make children feel, not what you bought or did – once your decorations are up and you’re prepped on the food and drink, it’s time to enjoy yourself.

“Forget cramming in activities or overextending yourself to pull off a haul of gifts or a perfect meal, what your children will remember as adults are the times when you managed to be present, playful and relaxed,” Norriss points out. Instead, try embracing your inner child this Christmas. Not only will the children love it but you will find it easy to cooperate with them too.

“With young children you might pretend you are lost in the Arctic when you go out for a walk and you have to dodge snowdrifts and hide from a family member carrying a polar bear. Sing a Christmas carol and see who can get ready to leave the house by the time it ends. With bigger children make up silly lyrics to Christmas songs, play daft games on the couch during festive films, or just generally find ways to buffoon around getting things wrong so they can laugh at you,” she adds.

It’s very normal that at some point it will all become too overwhelming for your child, which can lead to an outburst.

“Children offload through tantrums, crying, back-chat, protesting and whining,” Norriss says. “When this comes, welcome it because this is how they let off some steam. Most often children use small pretexts to offload their overwhelm, which have nothing to do with what is really upsetting them. Do your best to avoid shutting their upset down and instead just listen and validate their experience, however ridiculous, unreasonable or disagreeable it may sound.”

Instead of saying phrases such as: “Just settle down and play nicely” or “Say thank you to Aunty Linda” it’s much more helpful and productive to listen and show that you understand by saying things such as: “You’re so fed up with this game” or “You didn’t get the present you wanted”.

Considering ways to get the children involved during the festive period will help everyone enjoy it and lessen the stress on parents. There may even be time to sink into a scented bath with a glass of bubbles to hand.

This content was first published as part of a partnership with Telegraph Media Group and published on telegraph.co.uk