Dear Sarah,

Even when divorces are easy, they’re still terrible and, when you came into my life, I never imagined you could become someone who would mean so much to me.

I had no idea what a great person you are. I could tell my children liked you, though, and, actually, that was nice. I wanted them to be happy when they were with you. They’d come home and say, ‘Sarah makes the best roast potatoes’, and I’d roll up my sleeves and get competitive. It turns out they were saying the same to you about me though, of course.

When I wrote Space Hopper, I dreamt of having my book published and was full of hope. I didn’t realize you were such a great reader, and when you asked to read it and told me you loved it, you gave me the confidence to send it to agents.

But I got so many rejections. I thought, ‘That’s it. Nobody wants it’. Two months later, you sent me a message saying you’d read a book that gave you the same feeling as mine had. The very next day I picked up that book, looked at the agent in the back and thought, ‘Right, one more try’. The agent took my book, and you made that happen.

When I’m stressed, you’re the first person I call. When my daughter was going through a difficult time, I’m so grateful that you came straight after work and we sat at the table and talked it out. I’m the emotional, sensitive overthinker; you are the practical, logical one.

For a lot of people, this would be a tense relationship, but I’ve never felt threatened by you. I just feel like the more good people in my children’s lives, the better. I trust you, and I want them to love you. I’m proud that we have created and worked on this relationship. You’re the friend I never thought I would have.

Love,
Helen

Dear Helen,

I want to say thank you. You’ve brought two of the most wonderful children into my world. They are absolutely glorious and I’ve never, ever once felt that they didn’t love or treasure or cherish me. There’s been only kindness and love.

You’re the mother of my stepchildren, but you’re so much more than that. When anything is going on in my life, one of the first people I think about telling is you. We’ve had to work hard to navigate our way to this point, but there’s always been compassion and understanding.

Books brought us together. For a long while, our relationship was all pleasantries and logistics relating to the children. But then we started talking about books, and discovered we had a mutual love for reading. I feel inspired by you to share my love of literature and talk about the books I’m reading in a way I never did before.

Being a mathematician, my thinking is always logical and, as much as I can be quite highly strung, I’m very measured and don’t really worry. You think deeply and that helps me think about things in a different way.

Watching you parent your children has taught me to be more patient with my own children. Oh, and you’ve given me great inspiration with food and cooking – my recipe repertoire has improved so much thanks to the children playing us off against each other all the time!

You’re kind and helpful and always fun to be around. You really are quite lovely and I’m so proud of our friendship.

Love,
Sarah

Lara Kilner is a lifestyle journalist. Her writing regularly appears in UK newspapers, including The Telegraph, The Times, The Observer and i Weekend.

Joe Nuthin’s Guide To Life, out now in hardback, £16.99, and ebook and audio, published by Simon & Schuster